Family Mediation
What is Family Mediation:
Family Mediation is a process of alternative dispute resolution, and negotiation, that allows families to address and resolve disputes relating to their relationship breakdown in parenting, separation and divorce. Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process and the mediator is a neutral facilitator to the process.
Topics addressed in Family Mediation are often related Parenting Plans, such as, parenting time, major decision making pertaining to a child or children, communication strategies and plans between the co-parents, travel and holiday time and managing a child’s legal documents. People may also use mediation to resolve financially related disputes relating to child support, spousal support and the division of assets.
Negotiating resolutions through mediation empowers families because they are directly involved in their settlements. As a result, families are more committed to their settlements and are less likely to end up in future disputes or litigation.
The safety of each client, including children, is the first priority of the mediator. The mediator is trained to assess for, and conduct, ongoing screening for domestic violence, intimate partner violence, power imbalances and any type of abuse or danger. Many high conflict disputes can be safely mediated with an experienced mediator. Mediation is not appropriate for every family or situation and part of the mediator’s role is to continuously assess for appropriateness of the process.
Mediation can help minimize conflict, prevent avoidable conflict and stop prolonged conflict. Mediation can decrease costs associated with separation and divorce and, at times, even help families heal wounds caused by such conflict and move forward with healthier post-separation relationships.
Why You Should Consider Family Mediation Before Litigation
Separation and divorce is a life-altering event, and can even be traumatic. It can cause significant stress to all immediate family members as well as extended family members and friends. The stress associated with separation and divorce can become chronic when the family matters are left unresolved. Chronic stress can have a significant impact on mental health, quality of life, quality of sleep, all types of relationships and even job performance.
There are many practical, health and emotional benefits to minimizing chronic stress of any kind - including chronic stress caused by unresolved conflict. When families can resolve their family disputes quickly and with minimal conflict, there is less prolonged stress, less costs associated with the separation/divorce, more financial and emotional resources available for moving forward in the post-separation life, and ultimately families are able to move forward in their lives in an optimal way.
Litigation can often be avoided, and whenever possible, should be. There are many ways to avoid litigation - Family Mediation is one form of Alternative Dispute Resolution. Family Mediation, and other forms of ADR are strongly encouraged by the Ministry of Attorney General and in some provinces and countries, mediation is mandated before families can litigate.
Who can Benefit from Family Mediation
Almost everyone can benefit from Family Mediation. It is important to speak to a mediator to discuss your family circumstances and explore if mediation is appropriate for your family matters.
How is Family Mediation Conducted:
Family Mediation can be conducted in person or over zoom. The process can be carried out in a ‘Joint Session’ format, where everyone is together in one space to negotiate, or in a ‘Shuttle Session’ format where the parties are in their own separate spaces and the mediator moves between each party’s space (virtual or in person) throughout the negotiation process. There are other options that can be arranged as well. Your mediator should consider your individual needs and circumstances when designing your mediation process.
Court-Connected Family Mediation and Private Practice Family Mediation:
The Ministry of Attorney General subsidizes the cost of Family Mediation Services for families using mediation services through their court-connected affiliates. For families who are in court, they may be able to access three (3) free hours of mediation to assist them in reaching resolutions effectively and efficiently.
Private Practice Family Mediation services and fees are specific to each individual practitioner. Many practitioners are accredited by the Ontario Association for Family Mediation (OAFM), while other mediators are certified by their academic centre and are working towards their accreditation.
Becoming an Accredited Mediator requires extensive training, a minimum of 100 hours of supervised internship and a process of review. Accredited Mediators are required to follow our Standards of Practice, which includes exceptional commitment to competence, confidentiality, neutrality and integrity.
All mediators who are working in a court-connected service are required to be accredited and undergo a screening process by The Ministry of Attorney General in order to be cleared to work in court-connected mediation.
Please contact Nikki if you would like to discuss court-connected mediation in greater detail, or compare it to private practice mediation. Nikki is both a court-connected family mediator and a family mediator in private practice.
Please schedule a private and confidential consult with Nikki if you would like to learn more about Family Mediation.
What is Child-Inclusive Mediation
Separation and divorce can have a significant impact on children. Parents are typically, and justifiably, concerned about how to move through the process of separation, divorce and resolution, while taking their children’s needs into consideration.
Research tells us that, in most cases, it is not the separation or divorce that has the long-term, negative impact on the well-being of the developing child, rather the level and types of conflict they are exposed to throughout the process.
Oftentimes, parents want to talk to their children about the separation and divorce in order to get an understanding of the child’s preferences for their life moving forward. However, minimizing the child’s involvement in and exposure to adult conflict and adult matters is the best way to protect your child from long-term, negative impacts of a family breakdown.
Child-Inclusive Mediation is a formal and structured way of conducting family mediation while protecting the safety and wellbeing of the child but also including their views and preferences in the process.
With the consent of both parents, as well as the child, a trained Voice of the Child Practitioner interviews the child in a confidential process. The Practitioner would then provide a written report of the child’s views and preferences to the parents, who would then bring the report to the mediation.
By way of the report, and only when the child consents to sharing, their views and preferences would be shared during the mediation. If appropriate, the child’s views would assist and guide the parents to reach meaningful and inclusive resolutions.
Children have the right to be heard, but should rarely be asked to make adult decisions. Asking a child to make an adult decision can be emotionally harmful to a child, both in that moment, as well as in the future. Through the confidential, neutral and safe process of Voice of Child reporting, the views and preferences of the child can be gathered without harming the child.
If you would like to learn more about Child-Inclusive Mediation, please schedule a consult with Nikki so you can discuss this process in greater detail.
What is Child Protection Mediation
If you are currently working with a Children’s Aid Society or the Child Welfare System, you may be eligible for Child Protection Mediation services.
Child Protection Mediation is a free service for families, accessed through the Child Welfare System and is funded by the Ministry of Children, Community and Social Services. It is a way of assisting participants to collaboratively create a plan that stays focused on what is in the best interest of the children.
The Child Protection Mediator is a highly trained, neutral professional. Child Protection Mediators do not work for the Children’s Aid Society and do not have access to the family Child Welfare file. The Child Protection Mediator does not take sides, make decisions for you, or judge you. In fact, everyone works together to reach an agreement on the issues while respecting the values and voices of everyone involved.
Please contact Nikki if you would like more information about Child Protection Mediation or help in starting the process.
What is Openness Mediation
Openness Mediation is provided by a Child Protection Mediator who has taken extra training to be able to offer specialized mediation service in Openness to families experiencing adoption. Openness arrangements focus on contact for the child and birth family and first community after the adoption.
Contact between the child and the birth family and first community can take many forms, such as in person visits, letters, email updates, contact through social media or phone. Each Openness plan is unique and is designed to meet the needs of the child. The openness arrangements discussed in mediation will often form the plan for the child post adoption.
Nikki is a trained Openness Mediator. If you would like to learn more about this special area of mediation and adoption, please contact Nikki to schedule a private and confidential consult.
